


nobody puts baby in the corner

by QueenofCheese (Supertights)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - arahir's Parkour-verse, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, POV Outsider, Parkour, Second-Hand Embarrassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 07:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13118724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supertights/pseuds/QueenofCheese
Summary: Katie,There is a special level of hell reserved for people who send people videos labelled “historical parkour film you might like”.





	nobody puts baby in the corner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arahir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arahir/gifts).
  * Inspired by [backflipped right into my heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12122589) by [arahir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arahir/pseuds/arahir). 



> arahir, I was never going to post this. Ever. For obvious reasons. I apologise. I have posted it. You didn't deserve this pain. I can never be forgiven.

_Katie,_

_There is a special level of hell reserved for people who send people videos labelled “historical parkour film you might like”._

 

* * *

 

Shiro is clutching a pillow in his lap, scooched up to the back of his bed, watching something on his tablet with the kind of single-minded focus that Matt’s only seen him use when he’s piloting the simulator. He’s making soft noises and Matt knows he should just back slowly out of the room before Shiro sees him, but Shiro looks up first and his entire face explodes in cascading shades of red. He’s gripping Matt’s third spare tablet so tight Matt can hear the glass cracking.

Thankfully, he’s still fully dressed so it can’t be that bad. Right?

“Um-- it’s not what it looks like,” says a voice that bears no relation to Shiro even if it’s coming out of _his_ mouth, the one attached to his big stupid face, that’s still the colour of a ripe tomato. Nope.

Matt shuts the door and bangs the back of his head against it. Repeatedly. Maybe he can induce amnesia or a coma. He makes a mental note to burn the pillow later because, well-- it’s got to be porn right? What could be worse than porn? No one looks like they just ran a marathon in their bed juggling a pillow and a tablet without a little titillation.

Maybe-- he doesn’t get his hopes up yet though, maybe they’re over Parkour Boy.

Shiro’s eyes keep slipping back down to the screen like it’s impossible to see anything except that small rectangle that appears to have swallowed his brain whole.

With a sigh, Matt does the unthinkable. “Whatcha watching?”

“Something Keith sent me.” A tiny frown has formed between Shiro’s brows. Matt has a blinding vision of the future. Shiro is going to make Matt look at the video. Matt will die in agony. From embarrassment. Shiro will comfort Matt’s only true friend, Parkour Boy, with his rock hard pecs.

 

* * *

  

_I have only one question-- what did I ever do to you to deserve this?_

 

* * *

 

It’s dirty alright.

“It’s not like any parkour movie I’ve ever heard of but it's kind of familiar.” Shiro still hasn’t got the word right. Possibly because what Matt’s watching-- it’s not parkour. It’s not porn either. Matt has watched enough porn and too much parkour to know exactly what this is. Trouble. Trouble is what this is.

“Did you watch with the sound up?” Matt pokes at the tablet but the sound remains stubbornly muted. He’s seen this before, so has Shiro for about half an hour before he fell asleep. He's never watched right to the end.

It’s not from Keith unless Keith has hidden depths. Keith’s depths have seemed pretty shallow thus far.

Shiro gives him an sideways glance. “It’s not working. The sound isn't important anyway. It’s what they’re _doing_.”

Matt screeches internally. “Are you sure Keith sent it? This doesn’t seem his style.” Not that Matt knows what Keith’s aesthetic is other than sweaty Shiro, hoverbikes, and baby parkour.

He’s never heard Shiro actually scoff before but that noise he just made, that was actual scoffing. At Matt’s expense? Unforgivable! “Who else would’ve sent me a parkour video?”

Who else indeed?  _Who. Else. Indeed._ Matt grunts. He has his suspicions.

“What I can’t work out, is _why_ he sent it. Do you think he wants me to practice _that_ move with him? I guess I could _try_.” Shiro rubs the back of his neck, the red has slowly moved to envelope all of his visible skin, he’s so lost, so beyond embarrassment.

No. The real question is why isn’t there a homicidal alien race around to obliterate the Garrison and all life on Earth when you really need it. Like now. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea--” Matt chokes out the words he will live to regret. “You don’t have the same level of experience--” His choking intensifies. “--that Keith has.”

That’s it. The end. It’s over. He’s going to hell for lying to his best friend for like the fiftieth time this week alone but this particular one takes the prize.

Shiro makes him watch the video on what feels like an endless loop until Matt wants to gouge his eyes out but he pretends to fall asleep instead. Then he does fall asleep. He wakes up with Shiro’s blanket over him, tucked in around his sides, sporting excruciating neck pain and a pillow under his head. A sticky note falls off his forehead when he leans forward.

 _“On the roof. Practicing.”_ Shiro’s handwriting.

“Fuuuuuuck.”

 

* * *

  

_I’m dragging you down to hell with me._

 

* * *

  

Shiro isn’t on the same section of rooftop as Keith but from the loud thumps on the other side, he’s close. Matt tries to warn Keith before Shiro arrives and brings up “The Video”. If he mentions it, or God forbid shows Keith, they’ll be communicating through blushes for the rest of their lives. Their tongues will be too twisted to speak. Matt has visions of Close Encounters-like flashing lights but in their cheeks, talking beyond words. It’s all colour and light.

Thinking about it is giving him a headache.

Keith tries a Kong vault over a large box despite Matt’s weak objections that it’s too advanced while he attempts to get the sound working on the video.

There is a scuff on the rooftop and both Matt and Keith look up at the same time. Shiro has arrived. Unfortunately, Keith is mid vault and slides out of it with only minor scrapes on his knees and palms before he jumps back onto his feet, staggering a little and spinning in Shiro’s direction.

Matt would cry if he had any tears left to shed. It looks…. Shiro is standing right there watching. His eyes are twin suns.

“I practised that move,” he says and he’s ducking his head, suddenly shy. “From the video.”

“Huh?” Keith looks perplexed, his eyebrows take on a praying mantis-like shape that is trying to fight for its life. Tiny clawed mits up. It’s probably male. It’s head is about to come off. Parkour Boy’s going to die in the next minute, no doubts. It will be transcendent.

Matt begins to stand, maybe he can cut Shiro off....

“Wait, it’s not what you think,” he says, putting up a hand in the universal sign for ‘Stop, you goddamn fool!’ but Shiro barrels past him. The wake knocks Matt on his ass and sends the tablet flying. “He didn’t send it.”

Keith freezes, distracted by Shiro’s thigh muscles as they bunch for the leap.

Time slows. Matt alone bears witness. No one hears him sob.

 

* * *

  

_I’m not kidding. I can’t un-see what you unleashed on the world._

 

* * *

  

Shiro glances back at Matt at the apex of the leap, his face a study in abject horror. It’s too late. He’s committed to the course.

Keith’s eyes widen in realisation about the same moment. He backs up when he should be running. Matt can’t look but through the gaps in his fingers he sees Keith catch Shiro perfectly, hands on waist, holding him up for about five seconds... then he collapses under the weight of the beefy idiot and they hit the rooftop with a double grunt of pain.

Matt hears Keith wheeze, “Video?” from beneath Shiro’s chest.

“The historical parkour one?” Shiro’s sounding less confident but he hasn’t rolled off yet. Their faces, they’re about an inch apart.

“How’d you know I liked Dirty Dancing,” moans Keith at the same time, he’s sniffing Shiro’s bangs and Shiro has this soft expression like… he _likes_ it.

“Dirty _what_?” Shiro’s blushing. So is Keith. They begin communicating non-verbally. Shades of red. Blink blink blink. Red on red on red.

It’s _dis-_ gusting. Matt is done. Done on so many levels they’re still building new ones for him to be done with. His third spare tablet is broken, his ass hurts, and Keith probably just cracked a rib or two but seems to be ignoring them because Shiro still hasn’t gotten off yet.

“ _Nobody puts Baby in the corner!_ ” squawks the broken tablet as it re-loops the same scene again and again.

 

* * *

  

_Parkour Boy has hidden depths. Who knew?_


End file.
